Look how many steps I racked up yesterday 🥵 Nothing beats a spontaneous adventure with your bestie in your own city. It does mean one thing though… Musty socks. Who’s feeling brave enough to claim the pair I wore all day? 😈🧦

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PSA: These are absolutely insane.

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I’m having one of those days where everything that could go wrong, is going wrong 😩 To top it off, I’ve just burnt my knuckle on the grill making lunch. I’m delicate, I shouldn’t be made to suffer like this!!! Someone fix my day immediately before I start causing a scene!

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Good morning freaks and geeks! NYT big crossword got smashed out in 13:28 today 🧠 It still takes me a hot minute to wrap my head around the American centred clues but I got there in the end haha. Victory is mine 💅🏻💅🏻

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Finally picking this book back up after 8 whole months… No idea why the sudden urge hit, but here I am. Let’s see if my brain remembers anything or if I’m starting from square one (I really hope not). Wish me luck 📖🫠😩

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Clawed my way back with a clean 6:12 on the big NYT crossword today 🧠✍️ Did it a bit late thanks to some much-needed napping, but hey, way better than yesterday’s abomination 😅

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The NYT big crossword took me just over half an hour today, which is frankly rude. Still faster than my average so I guess I’m still a genius or whatever 🤪

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Smashed the NYT big crossword in exactly 13 minutes today 💥🧠 Not bragging (okay, maybe a little) but that’s a nice round number! Maybe unlucky for some, but not me! Whoever bought me that coffee yesterday, I dare you to do it again as a congratulations 😉☕️

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I think it’s about time I got these claws refreshed, don’t you? 💅🏻 They’ve served their purpose, scratched a few backs (and egos) so which good little piggy is going to pay for my next manicure? Don’t all squeal at once 🐷😏

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NYT big crossword got conquered in 12:33 today. Another day, another brainy slay 🧠💅🏻 I stay winning, someone get me a crown already 👑

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Just been to post one lucky buyer’s order. Some woman definitely thought I was following her but don’t worry girl, I’m just out here sending off a filthy package 😂 It could be you next. Take the leap and put an order in 😉📦✨

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The NYT big crossword absolutely scrambled my brain this morning, managed to get it done in 18:17 😵‍💫 I’m blaming the lack of caffeine. Speaking of which, who’s buying the first coffee? I deserve it after that ☕️

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Look how much hoover dust I collected just from hoovering my room today!! 😱 Who knew I was living in such filth?! Now the more important question, which one of you lucky gremlins wants it? 😈

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The NYT big crossword almost gave me a run for my money today, but I still cracked it in 14:17 💅🏻 Bit of a brain bender today, but a win’s a win! 🤪🤪

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Being hot AND nice is a power move. Chippy man gave me a full curry sauce on the house, because of course he did. That’s what happens when you know exactly who you are. Stay in line, stay grateful - I’m going to enjoy my dinner now 😘

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Just knocked over my coffee like a complete twat 😂 Now I’ve got this filthy, stained tea towel reeking of caffeine and regret. Who’s desperate enough to want it? Don’t all beg at once 🤪

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NYT Big Crossword tried to play hard to get today, 13:32 on the clock 😤🖊️ A little spicier than usual, but she still couldn’t beat me 💅🏻🧩

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Yesterday’s NYT big crossword? 42:19. Today? 6:33 😌 Call it a glow-up, call it a flex. Either way, I’m dusting off my shoulders and giving myself a very well-deserved pat on the back 💅🧠✨

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It’s always funny getting blocked by someone who clearly can’t read. Reading is free, comprehension might cost extra. Don’t get mad, get literate 🤡

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Fresh pack of sponges just for me 🧽💅 And guess what? I’m feeling generous enough to get one extra filthy just for you lucky lot. You want it, don’t you? Not because you’re worthy but because being my trash collector is the closest you’ll ever get to serving me. Imagine being proud to own the grime I leave behind. You’re just eager to be my dirt-keeper. And I think that’s adorable 💖 Now beg like the filthy little sponge-sluts you are. Maybe I’ll pick you. Maybe. 💋

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